He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
