look no pants
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
