And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
