shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
