I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
