I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My ass is underappreciated
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
