what if every blade of grass was a penis?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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