I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize