I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
handjob tips. give me some.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
