I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize