What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
