Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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