We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
