There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
