gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
