I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
