All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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