Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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