I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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