I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
