my sisters under your porch take her home
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
