this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
