The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
