No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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