a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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