For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
