I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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