New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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