Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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