let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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