Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize