just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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