I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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