so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
