yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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