she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
