I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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