She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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