i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize