A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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