Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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