I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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