chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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