..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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