Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
