I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
being pregnant is like rehab
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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