He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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