He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
