it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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