so let's talk penis.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
