Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize