god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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