like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
