The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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