Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
