the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize