whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
