I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You don't make any sense
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