But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
