yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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