the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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