dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
